I woke up today and decided to win the lottery

And so I did the only thing I could to do increase my odds -- I actually played the lottery. (I blame my inability to apply this strategy for my lottery losings in the past.)

I did a little research and then went to two local Plaid Pantries to purchase the Oregon Lottery "Trio."

At the first Plaid Pantry, an thin, stringy haired older lady behind the counter blinked in surprise when she saw me and then laughed to herself.

"I just saw your geek pin. It's so subtle... geek..." she said. "I wish I would've paid more attention to geeks when I was growing up. I only paid attention to the rockers."

"Well, that's pretty common," I said.

"But they're dumb and self-centered!"

"Yeah, but they get all the girls..."

"Well, I'm not a girl anymore and I prefer nerds. They're more stimulating!"

"Well," I said. "On behalf of the geek community, thank you."

She smiled, handed me my tickets and I left proud of my geek heritage.

At the second Plaid Pantry, a crowd had formed at the front desk. I got to the front of the line and a little old lady with a plastic tiara was cutting into a homemade chocolate fudge cake. The lady behind the counter said, "It's her birthday! And we love her!"

"Your birthday!" I said.

The birthday girl said, "Yep, don't you see my 65-year-old birthday crown?"

"Lovely," I said. "Happy birthday!"

The lady behind the counter said, "Well, no one was going to make a cake, so I did. That oughta be against the law."

I agreed and placed my Trio order. On the way out, I was happy to have been even a short part of that woman's birthday at the local convenience store where she was loved.

I decided to walk across the street to the locally owned coffee shop, tucked away off the main streets, fighting for survival against the Starbucks juggernaut. I walked in, said good morning to Ju, the owner and proprietor, who immediate started making my standard order. I haven't been there for months, but he still remembered what I wanted.

It's already been a good day. Think how much better it'll be after they announce my winning numbers? : )

What a little precious dose of caffeinated optimism.

Ad T.G.I.F! :)

Buying two lottery tickets was an excellent move, Chris. By buying two tickets, you effectively doubled your chances of winning the jackpot. After that, of course, the ROI begins decreasing. A third ticket will only increase your chances by another 50%, and the odds drop dramatically after that. So two is clearly the way to go.

And not to jinx you, or anything, but you ought to also consider what to do if you don't win this time.

My advice is to simply double up, and then keep doubling up until you win. It's a sure-fire strategy.

Good luck, man.

Lovely post. It's a nice read at the end of a long day.

So... about the lottery. Either you won and you're not letting on.... or your strategy didn't work. I hope it's the first case. :)

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Here's one for you Chris, I've heard that the mathematician Euler said that the lottery is a tax on ignorance. But, good luck anyway.